What I’ve Learned While Being Single

Let’s just be honest for a second. Dating is not easy and sometimes can be more frustrating than fun especially when you are trying to find a good, Godly relationship. It seems like the odds go down by more than half when trying to find that. It can be discouraging as a Christian woman trying to find “the one,” in a world that screams “who cares about the one, when Mr. Good Enough for Right Now is at the corner bar.”

I am by no means an expert in love. I’m still young and have a lot to learn. But, over the past year I have realized and learned a lot when it comes to dating, looking for “the one,” the season of singleness and staying rooted in my faith. So, this is to the girl who is looking for Prince Charming but is feeling discouraged.

First things first: stop looking for the one. 

Weren’t expecting that type of advice were you? I have learned that in life when you are constantly looking and searching for something, everything you find will fail you and leave you searching once again. That goes for a lot more than just dating. When God is ready to bring someone in your life, He will make that happen in the best way possible.

Some of the best advice I ever heard was, “Maybe instead of asking God to bring us the one, we should start praying for Him to make us the one. Because if we don’t allow Him to prepare us for that person, we could end up being the one who isn’t ready.” – Jeremy Foster

You may or may not believe me but the season of singleness has ended up being one of my favorite seasons of life so far. Not because I was doing whatever I wanted but because I let God come in and be my number one. I learned to let Him be my first love. I let Him show me the areas that I needed healing and work on, and I grew and learned so much about myself than I ever had before. I learned to be content with just being by myself; focusing on me, God, friends and family.

Until you learn who you are, and whose you are, you will never truly be able to be in a healthy relationship. Learning to be 100% happy while being single, and learning to find complete joy and dependence on the Lord will bring you more completion than ANY earthly relationship could bring. Trust me, I learned from experience.

Let’s think about something for a second. Let’s say you get married at 25 and spend the rest of your life with that person. (First off, that’s fantastic! Having a healthy lasting marriage is still possible.) That means that the majority of your life is spent with that person. So all in all the season of singleness is much shorter than the season of being with someone. TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THAT TIME! Learn who you are, what you want in life, invest in your family and your friends, learn to let God be your everything. This time is so precious and pivotal, so, don’t waste it looking for something that will come in it’s perfect timing. You will only end up missing out on growing and learning.

Now, when it comes to finding a guy that will lead you into a Godly relationship, here’s what I’ve learned:

If he’s not willing to work hard to get closer to God’s heart, he won’t be willing to work hard for your heart.

At the end of the day, you want to find someone who loves God MORE than he loves you and who will lead you towards Him daily. So, don’t settle for something less than that.

You deserve someone who is going to pursue you the way the Lord pursues you. The best example I can give you of this is through the bridge lyrics of “Reckless Love.” It says:

“There’s no shadow you won’t light up, mountain you won’t climb up coming after me/ No wall you won’t kick down, lie you won’t tear down coming after me.” 

Find a love like that. The type Christ shows you. Find someone who will pursue you with the urgency that God shows us daily. Someone who will stop at nothing to love you, protect you and care for you.  This goes both ways https://apotheke-zag.de/. Not only should your significant other show you love like Christ, but you should also show that Christ love in return. This happens when you both have Christ in the center of your hearts and life and if you make Christ the center of your relationship.

Think of it like a triangle. You are at one bottom corner, your S.O. is at the other bottom corner and God is at the point. The more you both pursue and reach towards Him, the closer you will get to each other.

I could go on and on about the lessons I have learned about dating, relationships and singleness. Maybe I will one day, but for now this is what I want to leave and encourage you with.

It’s okay to be single. It’s okay to focus on yourself and let God prepare you for what he has prepared for you. It’s okay to stand out and not do what everyone else is doing. It’s okay! God knows the desires, needs and wants of your heart and he will never not provide that for you. It might look and be at a different time than you would like, but in the end you’ll look back and be so happy with His perfect plan over yours. My story isn’t finished yet and I’m already so thankful for every heartbreak, lesson and season of singleness that He has worked through.

As cheesy as it sounds, let Jesus be your Prince Charming.

XX,

H

P.S. – YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN!! So be confident in that!

1 Comment

  • Reply Teresa September 19, 2018 at 1:19 pm

    Heather, I am very proud of the young women you have become and your accomplishments. I loved reading through your blogs. You are a very wise lady and I thank you for sharing your journey. It is refreshing to know there is someone out there speaking to the young ladies about God and how to have a relationship with him, Living with joy and respect for yourself. Bless you for being so open. I have 3 granddaughters that are turning 15 this year. As they get older and will be dating I will share your blog with them. Keep up the good work and reaching for the highest goal in Him. Love you. Teresa Cheatham.

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